Astrologically Incorrect For Lovers by Terry Marlowe

Author:Terry Marlowe
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: F+W Media
Published: 2007-03-18T04:00:00+00:00

6

the velcro virgin

VIRGO—THE VIRGIN, August 24–September 23

VIRGO’S INTERNET DATING PROFILE

Q: Favorite movie

A: Help! I just adore helping. I can do everything from sewing on buttons to untangling fishing lines.

THE REAL ANSWER: Looking for Mr. Goodbar

Q: Favorite color

A: White. It’s so pure.

THE REAL ANSWER: White, the color of most of my household washables. It’s so easy to maintain. From sheets to shirts, all I have to do is use bleach. I also love to wear white because it reinforces the myth that Virgos are virginal. It helps if I’m propositioned by some undesirable, because I can act naive. And if someone suitable and sexy approaches, I can look unsullied, like a virgin, and act like a . . . well, feel free to finish that sentence as you like.

Q: Favorite book

A: Oxford Book of Quotations, the Quiller-Couch edition.

THE REAL ANSWER: The Kama Sutra

Q: Favorite classic song

A: “Brush up Your Shakespeare.” Cole Porter was a genius as a songwriter, and an excellent role model for all who aspire to elegance. He was also a millionaire who worked even though he didn’t have to.

THE REAL ANSWER: “I Fall to Pieces.” I’m being ironic—I never fall to pieces.

My day planner would never allow that.

Q: Favorite drink

A: Bloody Mary

THE REAL ANSWER: Virgin Mary. (Another little joke.) I like martinis, hold the vermouth, ice, olives, and swizzle stick.

Q: What is your ideal home?

A: A warm, cozy home with clean, simple lines on the outside and no tacky chintz inside.

THE REAL ANSWER: A house that’s easy to maintain. It would be nice to have ground cover instead of a lawn to save on lawn-mowing fees.

Q: Where will you be in five years?

A: Taking my first vacation.

THE REAL ANSWER: Living in the same house, working for the same company, and earning a much larger salary . . . and taking my first vacation.

P.S. Virgo’s photo will be perfect.

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